Today is May 15 and time for me to choose my mid-month Scripture for Beth Moore’s Scripture Memory Team. I love Beth so much. Have I mentioned that before? She has a major anointing on her and I’ve learned so much by studying under her. (And by “studying under her,” I mean watching DVDs and completing Bible study homework.) (That actually sounds kind of sad and creepy now that I’ve written it down. Oh well.)
Anyway, I needed to choose a verse to memorize, and it seemed like all morning I’d been asking God to show me what to do in different situations. So when I came across this verse, I decided it was written specifically for me: “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” James 1:5 (NLT)
Our generous God. That phrase just stirs something in my heart. I can’t explain it exactly but I feel comforted and wrapped in His love when I read it. And I know that every time I need wisdom and guidance regarding a situation, all I have to do is ask Him. The One who is all-knowing, the One who is Love. And He won’t even fuss at me when I ask for His help. In fact, He wants me to seek Him in every little detail.
I constantly need wisdom when it comes to my kids. Most of you know that Vivienne is our little princess. Here’s a true story for you: The other day I called our bank to add a savings account to our checking account. The customer service rep was going through all the names on our account. She named everyone – Peter Terrebonne, Adrienne Terrebonne, Brienne Terrebonne, Jonah Terrebonne, and (wait for it…) Miss Vivienne Terrebonne. Really? Miss Vivienne Terrebonne? Even our bank thinks she outranks the rest of us. Ridiculous…
Vivi has been high maintenance since conception. And I’m not even kidding. The first four months of my pregnancy, she demanded ONLY chocolate. If I ate anything else, I became horribly sick. And my morning sickness was a constant 24-hour-a-day thing for about 26 weeks. Finally around week 30, I could actually lift my head without feeling the need to throw up, but by then all my energy had gone out the window. I never had that burst of second trimester energy that other people always talk about, and I never had that beautiful pregnancy glow either. The only glowing I had was from the post-vomiting sweats. (Too much information for you? So sorry…)
Anyway, Vivienne is precious and I adore her. I wouldn’t change a thing about her. (Except that I’d like her to drink out of a bottle. Or a cup. Or the dog bowl, for all I care. Mama needs a break…) But for months now, I’ve been debating whether to let her cry it out at night or to keep getting up multiple times a night to feed her. It has been such a dilemma. First of all, she’s tiny. Tiny! At her 9 month checkup she weighed something ridiculous like 13 pounds. I know babies who were that size when they were born! So, because of her size, I hated to cut out those nighttime feedings. Even if I did feel like a zombie every day. Peter and I kept debating what we should do, and I’d occasionally offer up a prayer for wisdom. But I don’t think I every really expected the Lord to give me an answer. So instead, I just kept talking about it with Peter. And frankly, with anyone else who would listen.
Well, about a month ago, I was really at an impasse. Vivienne was 10 months old and I needed some guidance. So one day I just poured my little heart out to the Lord, begging for Him to tell me what to do. To give me some sort of sign. And you know what? He did. He gave me peace about Vivienne’s nighttime feedings. Unexplainable peace. And to this day, over a month later, letting her cry it out hasn’t even crossed my mind. It’s just not an option right now because God took it off the table. He made the decision. And He gave me the peace and the wisdom that I asked for.
Maybe next time I’m in a situation where I’m not sure what to do (which happens about every four hours), I’ll remember that my God is generous and wants to give me His wisdom. All I have to do is approach the throne with an open and humble heart.