I’m tired of being the lone adult having to make all the decisions.
This was the last sentence in a message I sent to Peter this morning, complaining about the kids’ behavior, the messy kitchen, and my exhaustion.
Later, I felt terrible about sending that message. Peter is currently in a war situation, making decisions that will mean life or death for many troops. How could I have been so selfish to complain about my “problems” while he is fighting the enemy?
However, I’m fighting an enemy, too. A different enemy from ISIS, to be sure. A much greater enemy. And I am engaged in a great war against this enemy. A war for my soul and the souls of my children.
Every day, I battle for my sanity.
Every day, I battle for my kids’ salvation.
Every day, I battle to maintain my witness.
I recently read a quote by Beth Moore that sums up how I feel.
“The enemy of our souls knows to hammer us in areas where we try hardest to control people and situations. He knows we don’t trust God there.”
If I’m being honest, some days are really difficult without Peter here to offer support and encouragement. Without him here to help with the practical items like discipline and cleaning the kitchen. But as I take a look at this season and situation, I realize I don’t run to Christ as often as I should.
Instead, I let the enemy of my soul harass me and beat me down. I allow him to shoot arrows into my exposed flesh.
But rather than permitting this enemy to defeat me, I will strive each morning to put on the armor of God.
I will buckle my belt of truth by studying and memorizing what God’s Word says.
I will don my breastplate of righteousness because Christ sees me as pure and holy.
I will fit my feet with the gospel of peace so I can stand on the knowledge that Christ came to set me free.
I will take up my shield of faith to help defend myself against the evil one.
I will wear the helmet of salvation and carry the sword of the Spirit, because Christ lives in me and the Holy Spirit guides my every step.
I will “be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power” (Eph 6:10), preparing each day to fight a fierce enemy of my soul.
Fight with me, friends. The battle is raging all around us.