These are words that describe my state of mind right now.
As I sit in the quiet, looking over my to-do list, which keeps getting longer and longer, I feel overwhelmed.
Our family has many exciting things on the horizon. But even joyful happenings can cause anxiety.
Birthday party for our youngest
End of school year activities
Moving out of state
Going back to school
Having a baby (or in our case, adopting a baby)
We’ve been through most of these before but not all of them together at one time.
And friend, let me tell you: it’s quite overwhelming.
Lately, I’ve found myself at my wit’s end, yelling at my children over things that didn’t really bother me in the past.
Just yesterday, my little kids were being wild in the playroom. Y’all, they’re always wild in the playroom. It’s nothing new, and usually I can handle it. But yesterday…
I yelled at Vivi for irritating Jonah and then I yelled at Jonah for throwing a stuffed animal into the kitchen, nearly spilling a full glass of juice.
I lost it. It was bad.
I sent the kids to their rooms. In actuality, I was the one who needed a time-out, yet supper was cooking on the stove so I couldn’t just walk away.
And my reactions.
Of course, I was in the wrong.
As I walked into Jonah’s room to apologize for my emotional outburst, he put his arm around my shoulder and said the sweetest words, “I forgive you, mama. Here’s a kiss.”
Then he kissed my cheek and wrapped his arms around my neck.
What gifts he had just bestowed on me.
So often as moms, we forget to give ourselves grace. We deny ourselves forgiveness.
We all mess up; it’s a part of life. We will make mistakes, lose our temper, feel stressed. But instead of the usual berating self-talk, let’s be intentional about giving ourselves grace, mercy, and forgiveness.
Today as I read Isaiah 29:13, the Lord spoke to my weary mama heart. In this verse, He is speaking about His people:
“These people come near to me with their mouth and they honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me…” (NIV)
I don’t want my heart to be far from Him. I want my children to see Jesus in my words and actions. I want them to see me ask for forgiveness. I want them to see me bestow grace upon them. Most importantly, I want them to know that I love Jesus with my whole being.
But it’s not always easy, is it, dear friend?
What has you stressed beyond your capacities? Are you feeling overwhelmed by life’s circumstances?
Precious Jesus, help me to not only honor you with my lips but also draw near to you. Let my love for you overflow into everything I do.