Do The Opposite

If you are anything like I am, you loved the television show Parenthood. I fell in love with the characters and the drama, the hilarity and love that existed among the extended family. So when I saw that Dax Shepherd (aka Crosby Braverman) was going to be on one of my favorite podcasts, I had to give it a listen.

In typical Dax (or Crosby because let’s face it – they’re basically the same person) fashion, he told many crazy stories about himself, and although I couldn’t relate to much of his past life experiences, one thing he said jumped out to me:

“I’ve learned to do the opposite of what feels good because what feels good is usually what gets me in trouble.”

Isn’t there such truth in this statement?

As a mom, a wife, a teacher, and a friend, I try really hard to do the “right” thing. I’m a rule follower by nature while my wonderful husband is a rule breaker. (Well, not so much a rule breaker – he just really believes the rules don’t apply to him. But I digress…)

But sometimes the “rules” become too much for me.

Just the other day, my little kids were upstairs where they were supposed to be playing together. One child was apparently irritating the other because suddenly I heard an ear piercing scream, followed by lots of yelling, and with feet pounding down the stairs, the tattling began.

“Mom, he hit me!”

“But she won’t let me play!”

“It’s my toy! I don’t want him to play!”

And on. And on. And on.

What I really wanted to do was yell and scream back. Because my gut reaction when people are acting like little fools is to rise above the noise and settle the issue. Plus it feels good to yell when you’re frustrated.

But I knew yelling at my kids would only exacerbate the issue and set a precedent for them to follow.

Because, like Dax said, doing “what feels good is usually what gets me in trouble.”

Instead, I sat each of my children down and talked to them about their offenses. We discussed sharing, being kind, and acting in ways that would honor God.

And then just this morning I was reading and came across the following verse:

“For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.” Galatians 5:17 (NIV)

Maybe Dax was onto something with his “do the opposite” mantra. It’s right there in Scripture. Our flesh desires one thing but the Spirit tells us to do the opposite.

Although I’m glad I was able to control my emotions long enough to speak kindly and quietly to my kids in the situation above, It’s not always easy. And I don’t always make that choice.

Sometimes I do what feels good. And it gets me in trouble.

And for the record, I do realize that this little talk I had with my children will not resolve every issue all at once. It is actually going to take years of ongoing discussions, discipline, and prayer to instill kindness  (and other virtues) into them. But at least it’s a start.

What is your biggest struggle? In what situation do you need to “do the opposite?”

(By the way – who said we can’t learn things from our favorite TV characters?)

 

6 thoughts on “Do The Opposite

  1. Mmmm…. so good! My first reaction is usually my worst! Gotta pause and let the Spirit lead! Blessings!

  2. Great post and I like how you linked it to the quote from the TV show. It’s so true, we have to remember not just to do what feels good to us at the time as often that’s not a good choice. Much better to stop and think what God would want us to do.

    1. Yes, we definitely need to stop and ask God what we should do. Thanks for the reminder!

  3. My favorite punishment was making my kids hug it out together in the corner. Yep, they would have to stand in the same corner for some time out hugging. I have awesome pictures of them embracing with death stares on their little faces. But it taught them to work it out among themselves with a little compassion.
    Your so right though. Eating a full bowl of ice cream while watching a good show feels better than exercise…in the beginning. But doing what’s in our best interest is usually what feels best down the road. Visiting from Purposeful Faith Link!

    1. I’ve thought about doing the one big shirt thing but haven’t gotten brave enough for it! Thanks for visiting!

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