“I Admire You”

It had been a long day of work. As I got in my car after school, I sat for a few minutes, weary and dreading what awaited me at home. Not because my kids had been terrible or anything bad had happened. But because I wasn’t sure I would have the energy to make it through the next several hours.

The week had been extremely busy, filled with swim practices, late meetings after work, sleepless nights and 4:30 a.m. wake-up calls as I attempted to finish up paperwork for our pending adoption.  And my body was telling me it was time to Shut. It. Down.

But I knew I needed to be on my game when I got home. Dinner still needed to be cooked, homework still needed to be completed, and the little kids were expecting to attend their school’s Family Reading Night. Although I knew all those things were waiting for me, all I really wanted to do was shut my bedroom door, climb in my bed, and get an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep.

As I drove home, I silently prayed that the Lord would give me the strength and energy I needed to get through the remainder of my day. But in my heart, I just wasn’t in the mood for all the things.

I pulled into the garage and trepidatiously entered the house, which was eerily quiet. Usually I’m greeted by shouts of enthusiasm when I get home from work. Or, to be more accurate, usually the kids bombard me with “He won’t let me play!” or “She’s irritating me!” or “I need this for school tomorrow!” or some other problem that Mom needs to solve.

But in the unexpected silence, I was able to look through the little kids’ school folders while simultaneously cutting vegetables for supper. Soon Brienne entered the kitchen and sat on a stool. After watching me for a few minutes, she said this:

“Mom, I admire you.”

Huh?

She admires me?

Me? The one who is mumbling under her breath about all the things I still need to do?

Me? The one who is fighting to maintain my composure as I viciously chop the squash and sweet potatoes?

She admires me?

Her statement stopped me in my tracks.

I sometimes forget that she is watching me intently to see how I handle stresses in my life. I’m better at remembering to set a good example for my little kids but when it comes to my teen, I simply don’t always think about how my actions affect her. I forget that she’s not quite a child anymore. In fact, she is almost a woman and she is watching me – the most important woman in her life – to gauge my reactions and learn how to be an adult.

She is watching and learning from everything I do. The example I set for her could be the catalyst for how she decides to interact with her own spouse and family. And frankly, I’m running out of time with her.

It’s scary, isn’t it, to think we are running out of time with our older kids? Our tendency is to think we need to do more. So often I feel guilty for not doing “enough.” But at some point, we simply need to step back and trust that the Lord will redeem everything for His glory in the lives of our children.

We should definitely:

  • Continue teaching and mentoring;
  • Continue setting a good example; and
  • Continue having an open dialogue.
  • But most importantly, we should continue to prayerfully lift our children up to our Heavenly Father who knows exactly what they need.

“All your sons will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children’s peace.” Isaiah 54:13 NIV