My body betrays me.
Like clockwork at 3:41 a.m., I’m awakened by the pull of my bladder. Is it old-age or the fact that I’ve born children that makes this unwanted ritual a part of my nightly routine? I trudge toward the bathroom half-asleep, trying not to bump into walls or doors. Afterwards, I climb back into my warm bed, snuggling under the sheets. But my mind drifts. The snores of my husband seem to echo in our large bedroom as I toss and turn, trying to get comfortable. To settle in once again for just a little more sleep. But rarely does sleep come.
My body betrays me.
My body betrays me.
My right hip and leg are a constant source of pain since bringing our Jillienne home from India. Since the 16-hour plane ride where she sat, unmoving, on me. Since suddenly I inherited a 16-pound child attached to my hip. Bodies aren’t made for that type of sudden addition of weight and stress, and walking, sitting, sleeping are often painful. I’m not complaining – in fact, I’m more than grateful for the addition of that precious girl into our family. Yet I feel as if…
My body betrays me.
My body betrays me.
Just last week, I headed down to our home gym, hoping to strengthen my arms, my shoulders, my hip and legs. Those muscles that have ached and atrophied over the past year of little activity and overcompensation. As I lifted the weights over and over, repetitively, tears began to silently leak from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. The stress of the past year – COVID, my job, our family – all of it rushing to the forefront in the form of silent sobs. “Why am I crying?” I half-laughed, embarrassed as Peter looked on silently.
My body, even my emotions, betray me.
Yet with every tear, the stress is lifted just a little more. Because this is how God made our bodies to heal.
With every step, my aches remind me that God is good. That He has put our family together in His perfect way.
With every early morning, I am summoned to my favorite chair, Bible open on my lap as the Lord whispers to me. Before the sun has even risen in the sky, the Father speaks.
Yes, our bodies betray us.
Our earthly bodies will eventually wear out, it’s true.
However, I am also reminded that our bodies are a temple – the holders of the Holy Spirit.
So while our earthly bodies waste away, we are still called to care for the temple. The Holy Seat where our God reigns.
And the good news is this:
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” Eph 2:10 (NLT)
We can still do all the good things God planned for us. Even with an achy hip or exhaustion or stress-induced tears. We can receive God’s grace and continue living as He has called us.
Even when our bodies betray us.