I love the time leading up to Easter. The anticipation of the death and ultimately, the resurrection of Jesus. The foundation of our Christian heritage.
This year I’ve been using Sacred Holiday’s Lent study, reading through the book of John.
And I’ve been traveling with Jesus.
I’ve seen Him perform miracles like healing the blind man, and I’ve watched as He cried over the death of Lazarus.
I’ve listened as He explained HIs role as the Shepherd of His people, and I’ve gasped at the scandal unfolding as Mary washed His feet with expensive oil.
Currently, I’m seated around the table with the Son of God and His disciples during the Passover Feast. I’m witnessing Peter’s astonishment as the Savior of the world gently lifts his dirty feet, wiping them clean, teaching us all about servanthood.
It’s been a fascinating journey.
If you are anything like me, you’ve read all the stories about the life of Jesus hundreds of times. And let’s be honest, sometimes our time spent in the Word of God can seem flat, uninteresting, and redundant. We open the Scriptures hoping to hear something new but not truly expecting it. We do our daily duty, spending time in God’s Word like it’s something to check off our “to-do” list when instead we should desire and expect to hear from Jesus each time our eyes focus on the page.
This expectation came to fruition recently as I was reading John 13. Let me set the stage.
It is Passover in Jerusalem. Jesus knows that His life will be taken very soon and He desires to spend time with His disciples before He leaves them. He shares a special meal with them while explaining what was about to occur.
And then this happens:
“When Jesus had said this, He became troubled in spirit, and testified and said, ‘Truly, truly I say to you, that one of you will betray me.’ The disciples began looking at one another, at a loss to know of which one He was speaking.” John 13:21-22 (NASB)
Did you catch that?
Jesus tells the disciples that one of them would soon betray Him and there they sit, eying each other, wondering which one of them would be the betrayer.
These men had been together for years, serving alongside each other, following Jesus. And not one of them were suspicious of Judas.
As I read this passage, I wrote the following in my Bible:
Sometimes we are so good at faking the Christian life that no one can see through us.
So many times, I am not even able to trust my own motives enough to know if they are pure or selfish.
But Jesus knows.
I often wonder what it would have taken for me to betray Jesus. But I don’t need to look much farther than my own selfish desires to discover the answer. It could have been (and often is) any number of things.
- pride
- worry about what others might think
- fear of the unknown
- rejection
The betrayer could have just as easily been me.
And just as Jesus knew that Judas would betray Him, He also knows our most intimate thoughts. At first that seems frightening, doesn’t it?
But we don’t have to fear Him because we can bring these ugly thoughts and desires straight to the throne of God and He will forgive us. He will show us how to rid our lives of them if we truly desire to follow Him.
The more I dwell on this Truth, the more I am reminded that Jesus loved Judas even though He knew he would betray Him.
Isn’t that a beautiful and encouraging thought?
When I fail Him, He loves me anyway. And He loves you too, friend.
May you be reminded of His wonderful, unfailing love this Easter season.
Happy Easter!