I am currently reading 4 books. At the same time.
Never in my whole life have I been this “good” at multitasking. (insert eye roll) (because I’m not good at multitasking)
The first one I’m reading is called How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids. If that gives you any indication as to where this conversation might be going today. (And I’m sorry if that title just offended you. But I did use the asterisk so…)
The second book I’m reading is called Share Your Stuff – I’ll Go First. And this one – I’m really loving it so far. There are 10 deep and philosophical questions like “Who Are You” and “When Did You Belong” and it’s making me delve deep into the recesses of my heart and mind as I ponder my answers.
The third book I’m reading is a work of fiction titled The Vanishing Half. I haven’t decided how I feel about this one just yet.
And the last book I’m reading is Every Bitter Thing is Sweet. I’m walking through this book with a group of moms who have adopted children from India and I’m finding it to be healing and encouraging, knowing I’m not alone in some of my fears and thoughts. (Spell check just changed “thoughts” to “thighs” and that seems accurate at this point in my life.)
For the record, I’m not sure why I’m telling you all of this today. I started with one train of thought and that train has apparently ventured off the tracks.
But I think what I want to say is this:
I am a list maker.
Anybody else?
I make lists to help me organize my life.
I make Lots. Of. Lists.
Read Chapter 5 in this book and Chapter 3 in that one.
Do two loads of laundry and clean the downstairs bathroom.
Add milk to the grocery list and pick up bread on the way home.
Yet sometimes, in the midst of all these lists of to-dos, my relationships get lost.
Just last week I was rushing children out the door, late for work once again. I strapped Jillienne into her carseat, made sure everyone had their masks and computers and lunchboxes. Started my car and hurried to daycare, all the while with a list running through my head of all the things I needed to accomplish that day.
Stopped at a red-light, I happened to glance in my rearview mirror. Suddenly I thought my heart would jump out of my chest with an immense explosion of love for those little people peppered in the backseat.
“Hey, guys, I love you all so much,” I spoke, with a hitch in my voice and tears welling up in my eyes.
This must be how God feels about me, I thought quietly as the light turned green. Love so uncontrollable. So unfathomable.
And yet, so often, I treat Him as another thing to be checked off my list.
Read my Bible. Check.
Say a quick prayer. Check.
Listen to a Christian podcast. Check.
Check. Check. Check.
And done.
I recently heard Dr. Tony Evans say that “seeking Him doesn’t just mean praying. Seeking Him means shifting our priorities to Him.”
And I wonder – how am I shifting my priorities to God? How can I put Jesus first in everything I do? How do we treat Him as a friend and Father, not just a chore to be checked off our lists?
John Bevere once said that the less we read the Bible, the less we have the appetite for it. And I tend to agree with him.
But it goes further than that. If we relegate our relationship with the Lord to just something we do on Sunday mornings, or just part of our checklist, our desire for Him will lessen. And I don’t want that to happen.
So today, in the midst of my checklists and book readings and laundry list of chores to complete, I want to stop and listen. Take time to hear His still small voice. Turn toward Him when He calls.
Because I don’t want Jesus to be just another bullet point on my list.
I want to desire Him. To feel His love. To have a real relationship with Him as He guides me every single day.
How do you keep God from being just another thing on your list?