Jonah was complaining, once again, that I never let him play his video games. He was begging to play on his school laptop and I had told him no for the bazillionth time that afternoon. (I would just like to say, for the record, that having personal laptops for every child in our district has been difficult for our family. Technology addiction is real and I’m so thankful the elementary kids aren’t allowed to bring their laptops home this year.)
As Jonah complained and whined, I sort of went berserk on him.
And then I cried.
I knew I had done wrong. I could’ve walked away. I could’ve gone outside to breathe in the fresh air. I could’ve left the scene. Yet I didn’t. Instead I continued to engage a child with high-functioning autism and ADHD who was perseverating on a desire. And that never ends well.
In the midst of my crying, I heard a whisper.
Why do you expect your 10-year old to maintain self-control of his mouth when you can’t do the same? Why do you expect him to stop complaining when all he’s seen this week are your complaints?
Yikes.
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
It reminded me of something I’d recently heard from Pastor Michael Todd.
“He will raise to the level you praise him.”
What if I began praising Jonah, all my kids, in ways that would be uplifting?
What if I apologized for losing my cool amidst the stress of work and illness and a new, wild puppy?
What if I stopped engaging in the tug-of-war of control and instead spoke life into my children? How would their behavior change? Would it change?
Honestly, I don’t know, but I’m willing to give it a try.
Proverbs 18:21 says “The tongue has the power of life and death.” That’s a little scary when you think about it. I don’t want to speak death to my children. Or to anyone. I want to speak life and love and peace. The problem is – I don’t always feel those things in the heat of the moment.
But this week, I’ll try something new. I’ll hold my tongue, walk away from arguments, speak life whenever possible.
I’ll praise my children and watch them rise to a new level. Will you join me in speaking life over your family today?
I’m currently reading The Power to Bless by Alan Wright. He talks about this exact same thing. Thank you for your transparency and encouragement. You can do it!