I Know Nothing

I don’t normally tackle difficult subjects like race relations here on my blog. I’m known for lighthearted quips about my kids or discussions of what the Lord has been teaching me while parenting the many personalities that are living in my house.

But I, like many of you, have watched in horror as the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd were captured on camera, and I’m saddened by the hate and vitriol on both sides.

As a white woman with obvious privilege, I’m unsure if I should even enter into this conversation. What do I know about how it feels to be black in America? How it feels to be oppressed?

The answer is, “nothing.” I know nothing.

But I do know that racism still exists. I grew up in the South and I’ve seen it with my own eyes. And sadly, I’m sure my prejudices have unknowingly played a part in relationships and biases toward others.

But as a Christ-follower, I know better. And I hope I’m doing better, listening to my black friends and trying to understand how they feel.

I know several families who are raising the next generation of black men and I’ve listened to their concerns. Their fears. Their anxiety.

“I have raised my boys to always dress nicely in pants and button down shirts so that they appear well-groomed and educated and therefore less suspicious.”

“My husband makes sure he is always smiling politely in public, never scowling, because people may become afraid or suspicious of him and call the police.” 

These are things that I, as a white woman, don’t have to think about. And frankly, it breaks my heart.

I know this isn’t even close to being the same, but we are raising a child of color. Our Jillienne, from India, is dark-complexioned. And as a two-year old, she is beautiful and lovely and funny and full of joy. But she is the only person from Indian descent in our immediate social circle. How will people react to her as she grows up? Will she feel like she fits in or will she always be guarded about her appearance? What prejudices will she encounter during her lifetime? These are things we will have to discuss with her as she grows up.

I don’t know all the answers to these questions of race relations and prejudices. But I know we have to educate ourselves. We have to do better. We have to be better. And we must love our neighbors, including our Chinese neighbors and our black neighbors and our white neighbors and our Muslim neighbors.

I’m linking to a great discussion between Annie F Downs and Mike Kelsey, one of the pastors with David Platt at McLean Bible Church in Washington DC. Listening to this discussion is one way to start educating yourselves on this topic.

I’m sorry to tackle such a heavy subject today but my heart is burdened for our country and for those who walk in constant fear. I’m praying that we, as Christ-followers, will open our minds and our hearts to see our prejudices and then do something about it.