I am knee deep in little kids over here. Diapers and wipes and making lunches and giving baths and refereeing arguments. My middle two are still dependent on us for a lot of things yet I’d forgotten just how dependent a toddler can be. How closely they need to be watched as their tiny hands explore cabinets and bookshelves and toy bins.
But while I am knee deep in little kids, I am also undergoing the process of letting go as my teen begins to spread her wings. This first-born of mine who will be graduating in a few short months, is prepping to leave our nest. And it’s different than I thought it would be.
She and her friends are now driving, and I’m finding myself in a constant battle of deciding whether to grant permission for her to go places.
“Mom, can I go grab a bite at Chick-Fil-A with my friends?”
“Hey, Mom, everybody is going to Starbucks for a couple hours. Is it alright if I go too?”
“Hey, we’re all gonna hang at (friend)’s house tonight. What time do you want me home?”
I struggle a lot with wanting to keep our daughter home with us in the safety of our little bubble but also knowing she is almost an adult and needs to be with her peers. She is growing up and needs to learn to make decisions for herself. Although we have a close-knit family, she also needs to separate herself a little in order to become the person she is meant to become.
But all this letting go is hard. It’s scary. Can I trust her or her friends to drive safely and defensively? Can I trust them to make good choices? Can I trust them not to speed home in order to make curfew?
Ultimately, though, it’s not up to me to trust her or her friends. It’s up to me to trust my Savior.
So when she leaves the safe little bubble that is our home, I will pray. I will lift my concerns to the Father. And I will trust Him with her.
Because He’s not only my Father, He’s her Father too. And He loves her more than I ever could.