I’m sitting at the local frozen yogurt shop, watching three of my children and an additional friend enjoying their sweet, cold treat. At the table next to me is a young married couple. (I know they’re married because they’re both wearing wedding rings.) They look to be in their late 20s but admittedly, the older I get, the less ability I have to judge others’ ages correctly. (I still think I’m 28 so there’s that.)
I watched this couple walk in, as they were the only other patrons besides my crew. They crossed the room not speaking, chose their yogurt flavors, still not speaking, picked out their toppings and paid for their dessert. All while not speaking. As the husband silently gestured to a table, the wife silently sat down. And that’s where I find them now, head in their yogurt cups, not even looking at each other. They seem angry, uninterested, almost disgusted with each other. And I wonder – what’s their story?
Truthfully, it could be my story. Or maybe even yours. This silent treatment, this seeming loss of interest in a spouse. Exhaustion from long days with little energy left to talk.
Thankfully, at this particular moment in our marriage, Peter and I aren’t generally at a loss for words. Conversation and laughter come easily right now but it hasn’t always been this way. We’ve endured hard seasons, just as I’m sure you have. We’ve gone to bed angry, spitting out words as we pass each other in the hallway. Roommates who are just barely friends.
Marriage is beautiful and difficult and it takes more work than we want to admit. But when we choose to share our lives with another, walls come down. We find comfort in the known, in the good and in the hard. Because those hard lessons are what make us who we are.
Peter and I will celebrate 23 years of marriage next week. I was only 23 when we married so I’ve now been married half my life. And while some days it seems like we’ve been married forever, mostly it’s gone by quickly. Too quickly.
And as the kids grow, I find myself getting more sentimental, cherishing each little moment, trying not to take for granted this life I’ve been given.
Thank you, Peter, for this beautiful life. The past 23 years have been amazing and interesting and sometimes difficult, but I’m grateful for your steady hand and guidance in our family. And I’m looking forward to 23 more years. I love you!